Stones Unturned

You'll Always Miss Out on Something

Photo by Tom Parsons on Unsplash

An Oft Asked Question

One of the questions I’ve often received, or had discussions with people about, is how to know “what is God’s will for me?”

Now, there is a sense in which this is an incredibly easy question to answer. Here is God’s will for you:

• Listen to Jesus (Acts 3:22)

• Repent of your sins (Mark 1:15)

• Believe that Jesus died in your place, for your sins (Romans 10:9-10)

• Confess Jesus is Lord with your words: and then be baptized (Romans 10:9, Acts 2:28)

• Commit your life to serving Jesus’ church, growing in likeness to Jesus, and honoring him (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8).

But that’s not usually what folks are wanting when you enter into a “will of God” discussion. Rather, the question usually is something along the lines of, “what should I do in this precise situation?” Should I take this job? Apply at this school? Marry that girl?

No One Lives with Certainty

Here is the unsettling part of my answer to those questions - well, actually I hope you’d be unsettled if I said anything else, but my point is that it means I can’t speak ex cathedra - I’m not God. Which means, I can’t give you an authoritative answer outside of quoting scripture.

Depending on your life situation and responsibilities we could probably work up a longer list of dos and don’ts that would apply to you from God’s word. But most of the decisions we make on a daily basis aren’t necessarily of the do-or-don’t sin-or-not type of nature. Rather, they are questions wrapped in a great deal of uncertainty. They require that precious jewel which God’s word calls wisdom.

And in an age of 1 minute and 24 second Youtube videos describing how to solve every issue in three simple steps, the ambiguity of wisdom situations is a little more than we can take. We want an answer. We want it to be clear. And we want it now. But that’s not how God designed the world.

We all live, day by day, with a great deal of uncertainty. Most of it, thankfully, we don’t think about. I don’t actually know that my car is going to start each morning. There is no way for me to look into the future and get certainty on this rather important detail which will affect my whole day, maybe my week or my month. But if I sit around worrying about it, I

a) won’t achieve any more certainty (see Matthew 6:27)

b) may make very foolish choices trying to achieve certainty and security.

But the scriptures never tell us to pursue a life of certainty, or free of risk and open-ended questions. Rather, we are to:

• trust in the Lord (Proverbs 3:5-6); and,

• diligently pursue wisdom (Proverbs 4:7-9).

False Dichotomies

This is the part of the show where someone will pipe up and say, “but shouldn’t we just trust God? Shouldn’t we just have faith?” But that of course, gives those words (faith and trust) meanings which are foreign to the Bible, and thus illegitimate for the conversation.

The way we often use trust or faith to refer to a blind belief that, in some happy-go-lucky way, believes that whatever we do will turn out alright if we’re “trusting” God, ignores that the way the Bible describes faith is as a clinging to the promises of God as revealed in scripture. That clinging faith, then, works itself out as you seek to live in light of that revelation. In other words, you obey. This process of learning what God has revealed in the Bible and the world (what theologians have sometimes called God’s two books), and then obeying what you’ve learned is what the book of Proverbs describes as wisdom. And it’s more valuable than anything else in life.

So don’t pit faith and wisdom against one another.

You’re Always Leaving Something on the Table

Now when you’re back to the situation where you want a special word from the Lord, and frustrated that he hasn’t sent Paul back to write 1 & 2 Amercinians to help you out with all your questions, here’s what you need to realize: those initial items I listen about the clearly revealed will of God really matter.

Are you genuinely seeking to walk in obedience to the Lord? Are you being attentive to the duties he has placed in front of you? Are both of the options before you potentially honoring to him? Then look at the facts, pray for wisdom (James 1:5), and make the best decision you can.

Sometimes people get into this situation and they’re paralyzed: what if I’m missing out on God’s best for me? Am I really walking in his perfect will? Here’s the deal: that idea of God’s “perfect will” is made up and doesn’t come from the Bible. There’s his revealed will - what he’s said. Those are the sort of things listed in the first section of this article. Then there’s what theologians have described as his decretive will: which is just a fancy way of saying “the stuff that actually happened”, and therefore was part of his plan (Matthew 10:29, Ephesians 1:11).

You can walk outside his revealed will - we call that sin. Repent of your sin, receive Jesus’ forgiveness, and keep in step with the Spirit (Galatians 5:25). You can’t get outside of his decretive will, so don’t worry about that.

When you get those categories straight, a lot of freedom comes into play. Could you miss out on things if you choose a and not b? Of course: that’s why we call it a choice. You’re evaluating different options, and in making a decision, you’re always going to be leaving possibilities on the table. This is the nature of life as a finite creature. If you are going to live a happy and God-honoring life, then you must be okay with this.

You have to be okay with missing out. You’re always leaving something on the table.

Do it, Anyway

The answer to this, though, is not fear or paralysis. It’s simply to get as much wisdom as you possibly can, starting with attending a good church where God’s word is taught so you can learn and grow with other believers, then reading God’s word for yourself and praying for wisdom, and then having conversations with other believers (especially those who are older and wiser than you). Then, make whatever decision seems best. Trust that God will guide you.

Trust him that even if you mess up and make a bad decision (you didn’t seek wise council, or had a gap in knowledge, or something you couldn’t control changed the circumstances and that choice just blew up in your face), he is big enough and good enough to work your foolishness together for good (Romans 8:28).

When you’re stuck and don’t know what to do, often the advice of Kevin DeYoung really is best: Just do something.

Forget someone on your Christmas list? Consider giving a gift subscription to Stopping to Think.